Archive for May, 2009
Spam: a beginner’s guide
May 31st, 2009 | 
Author: Do you need a fast, easy way of communicating your product to an enthusiastic, hungry consumer base? Does your customer base not even know that it wants – nay, needs – your product? We’re here today to talk about spam: a marketing movement so underground that Saatchi & Saatchi won’t even consider it for their major clients. And, we ask, why not? Spam nowadays has become an industry far removed from its sordid roots as a pseudo-meat product.
The economic benefits of spam emailing are often overlooked, despite countries such as Nigeria (and, these days, Jamaica) building an entire economic future on the medium. Indeed, email clients also overlook the enthusiasm of the buying public: in ninety-five percent of our tests, our email client opened directly into our main inbox, and not into our spam folders.
So how does one go about attracting new business through the spam marketing technique? We look at five of the best spam emails, gathered through a painstaking trawl through my email spam folder a few minutes ago.
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Desert Bus for Dumbasses
Desert Bus 2008 – the inspirational dumbasses for our own special dumbasses
The guys who started all this – this blog with no purpose, let alone clearly defined mission statement – are a bunch of dumbasses.
And then there are those folks who inspired the guys.
In November 2008, back in the old wild west days of the internet, we found this website where these guys were streaming video of themselves playing a video game – they were driving a virtual bus through a never changing CGI landscape of pus-coloured sand and black tarmac. Eight hours of straight road, through this crappily rendered desert, for … charity? Yes. “Some people will do anything for money,” we said. And so began the collision and division of cells, the joyous process of our brains going tick-tick-tick-DING!
“I have an idea,” one of us said. The others promptly picked the idea up and ran away with it, and put out a hit on that first fellow. That first guy, well he’s buried out there in an unmarked grave, in that cemetery that Kate looks at all day long. She looks at it sometimes and smiles. He’s left a beautiful legacy behind.
