These people have no idea what they're picketing about

Another fecking strike has been announced, this time by the Communication Workers Union. The union has accused Royal Mail of cutting employees’ pay and reducing services.

“The current cuts, bullying managers and ever-increasing workloads on a shrinking workforce cannot continue”, said a spokesman for the union, from a barstool in a Wetherspoon’s at 11am. Apparently postal workers, like the postal service itself, hate change of any kind and refuse to move forward with the rest of the world.

Snail mail suffered a 25% decrease in usage over the last decade, in a market where more people are opting to purchase all kinds of goods online and have them delivered by Royal Mail. This spurning is hardly mysterious: waiting for a letter by post is shit, and there are numerous new ways to correspond which don’t warrant discussion here.

The postal workers are not the only layabouts disrupting the daily running of the country for mere coins. Train drivers, lorry drivers, baggage handlers and so on: if they feel like staying home all day to masturbate over Loose Women, we all have to tut and shake our heads at the injustice of a negotiation that ended with them getting a pay rise of only 1% above inflation.

I am neither against unions nor industrial action: giving the working man power to bellow their employment woes is a right I would expect, though I hope never to need to exercise it. It’s just a shame that the general picture in my head of who might occupy all the aforementioned posts is an overweight leering alcoholic divorcee loner who lost custody of his kids and lives in a dilapidated hut made of corrugated iron in between the tram lines and the perimeter fence of a nuclear facility.

I might be wrong but a lot of these folks wouldn’t even contemplate resisting their employers if it wasn’t for the ringleaders at the helm of the unions. Bob Hope is one such fuckbag. For every 2.8 million roaming around each day without direction or purpose, there’s a Bob Crow whipping tube drivers into a frenzy and conducting talks with transport firms that drag on for centuries.

It is my opinion that Bob Crow deliberately convolutes attempts by London Underground to appease their workers. He threatens strikes unless conditions are met, and then strikes anyway after the company stretches to his outrageous demands. Campaigning for better pay is second to driving home the notion that any government, whatever colour the ribbon, will crush the efforts of working people trying to climb higher in society.

His paranoid rallies to press that Thatcher and Reagen instated a New World Order are printed in the Sun verbatim and the readers of the Sun will soak up every meaningless word. He relies on the impressionability and ignorance of his audience to get away with using words like “corruptly” and phrases like “that’s the real reality”.

You can tell he is really passionate about what he does for a living. I imagine he has a hard time thinking about or doing anything else, and stands up for the little guy in every instance of injustice that happens within 8,000 feet of him. Never mind that 20 million Londoners will be poked onto buses for hour long journeys across town, two train drivers are going to be fired for inadvertently opening the carriage doors on the side of oncoming trains! We must act!

The law is an ass: it protects the rights of the bitter unskilled working man while simultaneously fucking anyone with real prospects  in the armpit. And the working man is a bigger ass for thinking the law gives a shit about him and his brood, which grows exponentially every time they are forced to have a day off.