They say money can’t buy happiness, but really it can if you have any imagination. However, money can’t, and never will be able to, buy class: the more money you throw around trying to surround yourself with pricey wares, the worse everything starts to look.

Middle Eastern interior design doesn’t follow trends. Instead the attitude appears to be “write a cheque and get one of everything, and then get a couple of spares, and then buy the companies that made them”.

Have you been contemplating converting your diesel motor, so that it runs on Crisp’n'Dry? This will help you come to a decision.

An e-mail circular alleges that the below images are not a hotel, but an Arabic Sheikh’s house. Yes that’s right, this is someone’s “humble abode”.

My first impression was “It’s like the Abu Dhabi Louvre” but this is probably bigger, except instead of galleries filled with the finest of the world’s most compelling art, we have a compendium of mis-matched but astronomically expensive wall treatments and gilted balustrades.

As anyone with too much money and inversely proportional integrity will tell you, if you’ve got it, flaunt it.

It carries on well beyond the limitations of panoramic photography, which is something that probably can't be said for the contents of the owner's trousers.

You know you've gone too far when you need a fisheye lens to capture your entrance hall. Or maybe these people don't know the meaning of "too far"...

And then, there's the living room, again with the fisheye lens. Hawk-eyed property selling and letting types will be spot the use of grandeur and pomp in a failed attempt to compensate for limited physical stature.

I would hate to come home drunk and have to puke here, as I don't think I'd be able to stop retching long after I had emptied my body of all my entrails...

This puts the Audi in audacious: apparently a sheikh had this custom made in silver. Actual silver. That bastard will never even get in the driving seat.

With petrol at £1.09, I’m glad I have an Oyster card.