Donkey Kong: jump barrel, jump barrel, jump monkey.

Last weekend, someone said to me – while, I might add, they were sitting in my living room, on my sofa – that video games had no story.

I’m a calm and collected kind of guy. I respect the fact that other people have opinions that are nearly as valid as my own. So it was only when this person went on to say the following that I was forced to beat them to death with their leg.

“Look at the typical video game story,” this person said, “There’s nothing to it. I mean… what’s the story in Donkey Kong? Jump barrel, jump barrel, jump monkey.”

Donkey Kong. Which was first released in 1981, back when Willy Gates was allegedly telling us 640k was plenty for everyone and when people in the UK were starting to wonder whether or not Thatcherism was a good idea. Donkey Kong: a groundbreaking game in many ways, not least for introducing Mario and the concept of characterisation to gaming. Donkey Kong: not a fantastic story. Not in 1981. They didn’t have room for a story.

It’s a bit like saying, “Sci-fi films have rubbish special effects. Look at Logan’s Run.” Jump barrel, jump barrel, jump monkey indeed.

Games =/= films

Here’s the thing: some games do have rubbish stories. Some games have rubbish stories because they hire rubbish writers. Other games have rubbish stories because they simply don’t require good stories. The various Mario games, for example, largely eschew story for good characterisation, which is a tactic that has worked wonders for gamers’ imaginations since… well, since 1981, when Donkey Kong first came out.

But game stories are getting better. The advent of CDs as a storage device was a big part of this, because they gave more room for words and videos and sounds – although they also caused the horrendous outpouring of “interactive movies” back in the mid-’90s. Smart game developers knew even before CDs that complex, evocative stories were possible, if the player didn’t mind doing a bit of reading.

Admittedly, gaming has a long way to go before it produces a Citizen Kane. Most game stories – even the ones that are trying – aren’t exactly Shakespeare. But games are getting there. Developers are starting to rely on writers more.

Listed below are some of my favourite game stories. It’s by no means a definitive or unbiased list, but all of these games have better stories than some of the shit extruded by Hollywood in any given year.

He's a prince. Probably Persian.

Prince Of Persia: The Sands of Time
This is one of my all-time favourite games. It is beautiful to watch, it has spectacular gameplay… and it has a story that is charming, exciting and well-written. The characters are believable – even likable, which is rare in gaming, where muscles and tits are usually the defining features of the protagonists. The sequels were less than perfect (although they are still fabulous as a trilogy), and Ubisoft seems to be actively trying to ruin the series but, taken on its own, PoP: SoT is a masterpiece of storytelling.

Metal Gear Solid 1-4
There are as many people who hate the series as there are who love it, but one thing is never in dispute: it doesn’t suffer from a lack of story. The MGS series takes a more cinematic direction than most games, packing in hour-long cutscenes sometimes separated by mere minutes of actual game, but the story is pretty much the definition of epic – and of bizarre. Never, ever, play an MGS game without at least 2 hours of time to spare.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Picking out one story from the incredibly successful GTA series is difficult, but San Andreas had it all: gangsters, crooked cops, Hollywood-style superstars, alien conspiracy theories. It might not have been the highest form of entertainment, but it was still remarkable.

Portal
Half Life (and its superior sequel) might be a more famous Valve game in terms of story, but Portal was a masterpiece. Vaguely reminiscent of the middle portion of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Portal managed to make a sad, lonely character out of a homicidal computer.

ICO / Shadow of the Colossus
These two games often get cited during conversations about whether games can be art, but less attention has been lavished on the minimalist stories that drive them. They might be a little hard to find nowadays, and they’re a little of the beaten track even if you do, but play both of them – and make sure you have a handkerchief available for their heart-wrenching ends.

Batman: Arkham Asylum
Given that superhero comic stories often seem tailor-made for video game adaptation, it’s a wonder that so many superhero games turn out badly. Arkham Asylum not only manages to distil everything that makes Batman cool, it also tells a gripping – if slightly clichéd – yarn. Proof that not every story needs to make you cry.

Mass Effect
Space opera at its finest, Mass Effect doesn’t just give you a story – it gives you a galaxy. Back story abounds, told to you both by the people (and aliens) you meet and by the novel’s-worth of text tucked away in the menu. Even if you don’t bother with the superfluous stuff, Mass Effect’s main plot makes Star Wars feel distinctly underwhelming.

The Final Fantasy series
With game #13 on the precipice of release, the Final Fantasy series marks for many the pinnacle of game stories. That’s debatable, but there are 13 unique and complicated stories in here, ranging from fantasy to science-fiction, steampunk and even romance. Unfortunately, the magic of Final Fantasy has yet to break out of the gaming world: at best, the FF films have been weak on story, and at worst they’ve just been plain awful.

Zork
I only include this because it came out the year before Donkey Kong and is still widely regarded as a sophisticated interactive story. Jump barrel, jump barrel, jump monkey?

So what did I miss? Let us know in the comments!