Posts Tagged ‘crazy poodle’

Karl Lagerfeld: the definition of ego

We on the IWDTFM team are often asked, “Why don’t you all become models?”. It’s a valid question, given how good looking we all are. But I have a secret: I don’t understand the fashion industry. What it is, what it does, and why the hell anyone would want to be a part of it.

I’m writing this because I read Kate’s article about the New Zealand fashion week, and – like Kate – I was impressed that a country that has yet to pave its streets even has a fashion week. Wales doesn’t, although this could be due to the fact that large numbers of the Welsh population have yet to be introduced to clothes.

Not that the fashion industry is particularly concerned with clothes. They don’t produce things that you can wear. They produce monstrosities of design, much like a five-year-old with access to a large supply of Play-Doh might.

What really confuses me about the fashion industry is that so many people seem to want to break into it. Models, fashion designers, stylists, hairdressers… never mind that the industry seems to be a mix of sweat shops and the Third Reich, it’s honestly an industry that people marry footballers to get into. On your average thirteen-year-old girl’s list of “Things I Want To Be When I Grow Up”, the desirability of jobs in the fashion industry is probably only second to whatever the hell it is Tara Parker-Tomkinson did to get famous.

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A French bulldog puppy typically vends for around £2000 according to our on-hand puppy-buying expert. This is a hell of a lot of money to pay to watch a creature writhe around on laminate flooring. Turtles are like, only a fiver.

This French bulldog is doing an impression of a turtle. His owners take pleasure in making him look stupid, whereas actually they are extremely intelligent, and in this case this gorgeous specimen is merely feigning an interest in sitting upright to appease his masters.

There is something strangely opaque about his fathomless eyes though. Remember when you used to play with marbles, the “misty” ones? I am reminded of them when I look into this dog’s eyes when he stops writhing for a rest and a breather.

Forget the negligence of the owner, one of his parents is slumped on the floor in the background. Totally. Not. Helping.

A solution to my junk mail problem! All I need to do is get a dog like one of these:

Hartley really really really hates junk mail

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