Posts Tagged ‘cults’
Ding dong! The fight begins for the Xmas No. 1 single
December 8th, 2009 | 
Author: 
Rage against the X-Factor
The latest batch of manufactured X-Factor pop-a-nonnies are trundling inevitably closer to the turgid, overcooked and overhyped grande finale. I’ve been lucky enough to avoid a lot of television recently, so have escaped the show’s grasping and vampiric embrace of my brain. Yes. I have not been sucked in.
I thought I might expound on my disbelief at the 2009 crop of finalists – seriously, I just don’t get Jedward, but I’ve realised it’s useless. Anybody who has not joined the cult cannot understand its inner workings. It’s probably like how, to Scientologists, it’s completely awesome that they have little aliens living inside them but to anybody else, it’s insane.
Tags: 
Cool ways to earn a living #2: Be Tony Robbins
I bought my shiny, shiny teeth with the money of fools.
Imagine putting “self help guru” when you have to enter your job title on a form. How embarrassing would that be?
Self help gurus are widely lampooned in the mass media, often depicted as deranged, criminal, sad, pathetic, or all of the above. Some of my personal favourites are:
- Greg Kinnear as Richard Hoover in Little Miss Sunshine, a desperate, clutching man whose pathetic quotes fail to inspire his small, yawning audience.
- Patrick Swayze as Jim Cunningham in Donnie Darko, a seedy and despicable man.
- Tom Cruise as Frank T.J. Mackey in Magnolia, see above.
It’s only if you’re Tony Robbins that the job actually rocks…
