Posts Tagged ‘dentists’

Crackhead Dentist: we hate you. We all hate you.

Better for me if I could close my eyes
And dream of imps perched tight on your shoulder,
Cackling loud as you excavate my mouth
And pull and rip and grate and burn my gums.

Instead, my eyes are open wide with pain
As you simper and calm with platitudes,
Bright and breezy in your sterile domain
That plays muzak that kills the man in me.

Tell me: what do you expect me to say,
You fuck, when I’m drooling all on your floor?
How can you sleep, you fuck, so sound at night
Hearing my screams and with your bloody hands?

Read the rest of this entry »

Crackhead Dentist: "So, all your teef out then, yeah? Sweeeet."

I recently discovered the joy of NHS dentistry in the UK. By that, I mean, I met Crackhead Doctor’s little brother, Crackhead Dentist. After three years of avoiding the dentist, I finally gathered the courage for a check up. The NHS website directed me to a convenient clinic by my work.

I went by, registered as an NHS patient, and booked an appointment. So far, so good. Until the visit. Since it had been three years since my last visit, I had to pay penance with 20 minutes extra scraping & drilling & the bad news of a rather large cavity.

The guy also took the piss by giving me a hygeine clean, which is a private treatment, but without informing me he was about to give me a private treatment, and then presenting me with the £50 bill. Erm, thanks buddy.

Read the rest of this entry »