Posts Tagged ‘gaffes’

It even scrubbed all the serifs off the text!

To get the most out of your portable USB drive, leave it in your jeans and throw it in for the wash. Afterwards you’ll not only be able to use heiroglyphics in filenames, but its capacity will have increased to 26.2GB.

This works as well as ever and the bidding starts at £50. I will pay postage.

Bidding closes 5:30 pm on Friday 9 October 2009.

Please enter your bid in the comments field below.

I submitted this to Threadless.com and got knocked back.

A friend of mine – who is about my age – asked me recently what ‘tweeting’ is. I gave him the stock, Twitter-approved answer that every tweet is an answer to the question, “What are you doing right now?”. My friend then asked me what blogging is, then wondered how such a big internet could fit down those really thin phone lines.*

I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell you now that I like Twitter. I like being able to see what my friends are doing, and tell them in return what inane shite I find interesting right this second. Considering mobile phones and text messages didn’t become commonplace until well after I left university, my acceptance of this culture of being socially visible has been nothing short of startling.

I disagree with Daniel, who states that Twitter began as a “medium of communication for lazy bloggers and self-important narcissists three years ago”. I also disagree that dead bloggers are a bad thing. I find it genuinely impressive that the deceased find the time and energy to tweet regularly. However, I do agree that Twitter has since been hijacked by the lazy bloggers and narcissists, although I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing. What infuriates me is how, as Daniel points out, Twitter has become just another marketing tool.

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It feels like a Friday, don’t you think? These sort of little gems usually occur on a Friday, anyway! Courtsey of Epic Fail … If you didn’t know the answer, wouldn’t you take the $500k and run?

Operation 'Soylent Green' in action

Did Stephen Hawking change nationality? Maybe while we weren’t looking, perhaps? Maybe he lied about being born in London and educated at Oxford University. Is he, like the crew of the HMS Bulldog before him, secretly an American?

I ask because the Investor’s Business Daily, a US rag, recently highlighted the shocking ineptitude of the British National Health Service in an editorial, saying, “People such as scientist Stephen Hawking wouldn’t have a chance in the UK where the National Health Service would say the quality of life of this brilliant man, because of his physical handicaps, is essentially worthless.” Which was news to the man who survived only because of medical treatment from – you guessed it – the NHS.

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Unlike Abbey, Ben knew to just cut and run

Geoff was wrong. We’re not past this. Instead of one or two people illuminating themselves in the bright light of professional idiocy, we have an entire solar event of screwups: one that wasn’t begun with Abbey and that won’t end with the Facebook girl.

It’s less than a day since the latest Facebook career disaster and already we have another contender for the crown of ‘prize tit’, this time provided by the IRC quote site Bash.org.

Just remember: the internet is only a great way to hide your identity if you don’t fill in your personal details.

What a fool! (via Applicant.com)

Abbey Sherwell’s adventures in career trashing taught us all to be super careful while tapping out a quick wrathful tirade. Lately I’ve all been composing e-mails with the To and CC fields empty, just in case I absent mindedly leak some supressed fury into the message.

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Abbey Sherwell: not laughing now

You’ve got to feel a bit sorry for Abbey Sherwell.

On Friday, Kate tripped her way across the iwilldothatformoney office with a big excited smile on her face. You can always tell when Kate’s happy because she loses all sense of coordination. Once we’d picked her up off the floor and mopped the blood off her face, she told us to check our inboxes for – and I quote – “the most awesome email [she’s] ever read ever”. We then packed Kate into an airtight box and posted her to A&E.

The email was indeed awesome. It was incredibly funny in a “I can’t believe someone would be stupid enough to write this” sort of way. Even better, it had then been sent to exactly the wrong person, who had then forwarded it on to all his business contacts. And they’d forwarded it to their friends, who forwarded it again and within a day it was sat in Kate’s boyfriend’s inbox. That’s how we got it. That’s how the internet works these days.

So you’ve got to feel a bit sorry for Abbey Sherwell. She made a huge mistake – a proper schoolboy error – and now look what’s happened. She’s a budding internet meme.

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The following “oops I can’t believe somebody actually wrote and sent that” email arrived in my inbox today. I removed the addresses & contact details, and here it is for your enjoyment on a Friday. Read from the bottom up for a lesson hard learned on insulting customers!

So what do you think – should Abbey Sherwell be saved?

Yes – or – No

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Ignore the facts, the police chief knows all.

People in Essex have more chance of winning the Lotto than being mugged, police authority chief Robert Chambers claims. However, the data available from Camelot and Essex Police websites tell a different story.

Mr Chambers insisted that his statement was ‘fact’. “You are more likely to win the lottery than you are to get mugged in Essex,” he said, “That’s a fact.”

Figures on the force website record 276 robberies in Essex between the start of April this year and the end of June; the monthly average is shown to be 92 muggings throughout the county.

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