Posts Tagged ‘link salad’

Soo cute that I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to post this! Apparently this wee kitteh has been doing the rounds for a while but I only just discovered it. Travesty!

I’d like to apologise to our readers and my blogging colleagues for the unannounced and prolonged downtime experienced over the last couple of weeks. I have resigned from the finance department and a chimp equipped with basic numeracy and organisation skills has been found to usurp me.

Ostentatious debutantes eviscerated for your year-round delectation

Somehow we have entered December, after what feels like only a few months into 2009.

Tesco and all the despotic UK retailers have been ready for Christmas since minutes after Halloween fizzled out, merchandising decorations and the like everywhere you turn.

Marketers love spinning sales off the back of the seasonal festivities that pepper the calendar year. September is the ideal time to buy back-to-school home and contents cover. DFS love to drive home the importance of getting a brand new sofa every December, “the ideal family Christmas present”. (That of course relies on you having not already bought one every bank holiday so far this year. But make sure to leave room under the stairs for just one more settee which you’ll inevitably rush out to get at 12:01am on Boxing Day!)

One thing you’ll find in nearly every shop around now is 2010 calendars. There’s a calendar for the usual tastes out there, from cute West Yorkshire terriers to marine life photography. Yay! Dolphins frolicking about in enclosures in the Dominican Republic, secretly plotting our demise…

For all the hormonally addled teenster there’s calendars of Hollyoaks hunks or The Bill babes. Mm, Roberta Taylor in a negligee in January.

But that’s all a bit run of the mill. For more select tastes, you can gawp at goats that’ve climbed trees to gain a better picture of the surrounding pastures.

Or, if you’re a loathsome sadist, there are 12 captivating photographs of non-descript beasts with their viscera caulked all over the highways of America.

Have you got a hilarious idea for a calendar? Are you set to appear in one, in a reputation-shattering compromising situation? Let us know!

Some of you might have noticed a decrease in the output levels around here recently. Some of you also know we are quite busy at work at the moment. The things may be related.

But to make sure you’re all still getting your fix of squee, here’s something we found recently: Henry Making His Bed.

A French bulldog puppy typically vends for around £2000 according to our on-hand puppy-buying expert. This is a hell of a lot of money to pay to watch a creature writhe around on laminate flooring. Turtles are like, only a fiver.

This French bulldog is doing an impression of a turtle. His owners take pleasure in making him look stupid, whereas actually they are extremely intelligent, and in this case this gorgeous specimen is merely feigning an interest in sitting upright to appease his masters.

There is something strangely opaque about his fathomless eyes though. Remember when you used to play with marbles, the “misty” ones? I am reminded of them when I look into this dog’s eyes when he stops writhing for a rest and a breather.

Forget the negligence of the owner, one of his parents is slumped on the floor in the background. Totally. Not. Helping.

It's time to put a stop to this "fun" craze that's gripping the nation

The Iwilldothatformoney team was pleased to hear about this new prescription drug from Pfizer, Despondex®. Recently approved for use in America by the FDA, it is the first drug designed to treat the symptoms of excessive perkiness.

We’ve always thought America was far too pleasant. Must be all that fresh air and wide open spaces and rampant consumerism. There’s just too much of a focus on wishing people a great day, good customer service, polite driving, and friendly greetings or farewells. At last, a solution. Perhaps this is the answer for how America can become more like Britain.

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In honour of it being a super ohmygosh boring Wednesday*, here is something to make you laugh in a burst of wicked schadenfreude. This is a numpty who was clearly inspired by those ultimate-mega-numpties-to-rule-all-numpties on Jackass….

Oh, you noticed this wasn’t anything related to money? Erm. “Hey, I wouldn’t pay a guy to do this.” There we go.

* In fact, it is even a Thursday, which proves my point.

TGIF! Hope you are looking forward to the weekend as much as we are (especially if you are lucky enough to be looking at a 3-day bank holiday weekend too!). To celebrate, we’re dropping the snark — just for a moment, don’t panic — to share some of the things that we have giggled about recently. Enjoy!

1. From my favourite NZ column, Sideswipe:

2. What could be cuter than watching kitties play live? Watch em bounce around in a blur of fur!

3. Arnie confesses: yes I do still have the Conan sword and I keep it in my office!

4. Microsoft’s photoshop disaster gets re-photoshopped! From TechCrunch’s meme… This is our personal favourite:

It feels like a Friday, don’t you think? These sort of little gems usually occur on a Friday, anyway! Courtsey of Epic Fail … If you didn’t know the answer, wouldn’t you take the $500k and run?

Does your fat face need a work out? Then we have the product for you – the Facial Flex! You’re just 4 minutes and thirty bucks away from looking like… Marilyn Manson!

Marilyn Manson is an ardent user of the Facial Flex

“You can do it while you’re doing something else. You can watch television, walk the dog…,” says the host, Tommy. (Imagine if you saw your neighbour walk past with that in their mouth)

“Even if I don’t see anything yet, I know there’s something happening…,” says Susie, the caller-in. She sounds enthused.

“I know you’re looking at us doing it, and you’re going, does that really work?” says another host, Lisa. Very perceptive. It’s like she can actually see me through the TV.

Later, she adds: “Now if your New Year resolution includes working out, why aren’t you working out your face?”

Well, that’s a really good question, Lisa…

What a fool! (via Applicant.com)

Abbey Sherwell’s adventures in career trashing taught us all to be super careful while tapping out a quick wrathful tirade. Lately I’ve all been composing e-mails with the To and CC fields empty, just in case I absent mindedly leak some supressed fury into the message.

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